he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
