He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Michael Bay diarrhea
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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