Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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