I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
