remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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