What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
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