Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
there is glitter all over my balls
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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