you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
