his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Randomize
