fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
