C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
