Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
