oh god the rape fog is back!
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
