I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Randomize
