You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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