My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
