I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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