You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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