What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Randomize
