I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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