Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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