forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Your cock deserves a montage
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Randomize
