I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
