I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
We named our party play list daddy issues
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
