I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
