i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
