Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Randomize
