Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
