Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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