I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
