I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
