Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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