Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
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