He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
