i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Randomize
