Pants 0. Shit 1.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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