Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Randomize
