Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
My vagina just clenched in fear
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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