Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
