if i can run in heels then i can drive
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
He is an equal opportunity slut.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
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