It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
