Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
