Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Randomize
