She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
