It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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