He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
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