Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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