Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Randomize
