Plan B is the new Plan A
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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