i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
