hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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